The air was a patchwork quilt of smells–manure, pine, animal hide, and barbecue–heated by the warm afternoon. I walked down the street instead of taking the trail today, making a right turn to go down a steep hill.
I was praying as I walked. It’s my time of worship. Ephesians 4:14 kept going through my mind:
so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes.
As I walked, a brief wind stirred the brown leaves on the ground into a swirl. That swirl swept high into the air above my head, and I paused to watch them. “so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried by every wind of doctrine…,” Ephesians said. Leaves dancing in the breeze, twirling like couples in a dance, or like tiny kites, capturing the wind. I was transfixed.
But leaves go with the direction of the wind, and the winds change. They may go in another direction. Or the wind may not blow at all, and they may come to rest in the tracks of tires to capture rain from the sky in tiny pools that resemble tears.
Oh, friend, stop your searching.
God is there with you. You don’t need to earn His love or somehow work at being a good person in order to finally present yourself to Him.