Our Marriage Formula

S.M. and I constantly communicate. As husband and wife, we know the importance of keeping our marriage healthy. It’s not a perfect formula; not one that would be a one-size-fits-all kind of thing, but it works for us.

S.M. is the head of our family. The Bible would call him a spiritual leader. My next sentence will probably cause a lot of feminists to gasp in horror, but here it is: I give him control of the finances.

He’s in control because it works. If two people are in control of the finances, that is chaos. We talk about finances together all the time so I am not out of the loop on things. He balances the check book, sets spending limits, and we talk about upcoming expenses. S.M. is good at it, too.

I would probably buy those over-priced shoes at the boutique without a second thought and his no saves us a lot of debt. He and I also know how to forgive each other, fight fair, and listen.

The first few months of our marriage took some adjustment in the listening department. S.M. thought he had to solve my problems when all I needed was someone to listen and validate what I was saying. I needed to talk it out in order to draw probably the same conclusion he thought in his mind.

I learned not to put him in leadership positions without first asking him whether God was calling him into that leadership position (S.M. is chuckling right now as he reads this!).

One thing we did learn was: It’s not always his fault.

Sometimes, I contribute to the problem we are discussing.

Oh, that hurt to admit!

The formula that works in every marriage though is two people believing in Jesus and loving each other sacrificially. Simplistic as that sounds, it is far more complex and difficult. There’s a book on that called, Fireproof.

You should read it.

I prefer private conversation. You are more than welcome to email me in lieu of a comment or contact me via social media.

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